The end of cow head and the move to Austin, TX.

The cow head saga continues... Read the following blog for the heart-stopping conclusion!

         OK, so the next day I called a taxidermist to consult with a professional on how the hell to salvage cow head. I drove to the trailer park (which was actually quite nice, I assume it's because housing is so expensive out there that some people just choose trailer. Dori told me she once considered it.) Anyways, the guy comes out to my trunk to inspect the cow head and just kind of stares at it for a bit... Then he asks "so, where did you get this?"

"I got it from the farmer's market."

"How old is it?" He asked, eyebrows very high.

"I have no clue."

"Well, to me it looks like it has been dead a really long time, its terrible..."

What does that mean?!?!?! I ask and he tells me that it means he can do absolutely nothing for this FREAKING head! This horribly disgusting head. 

          He said that it was so old it would just fall apart if he tried to clean it off. The special thing with cow heads is that their horns are filled with connective tissue. He would have to take the horns off and boil out all of the tissue- so that means this stupid ass cow head is just going to keep rotting and smelling FOREVER!!!!

That's it. I'm done.

So what should I do? That's right! Sell it on craigslist!!

Here are the beautiful pictures I took!

I was very honest in the post. I said, 'keep this outside.' This real cow skull would look great on your barn door or lawn!

Someone bought it the very next day! Thank god. Get this thing out of my life. 

The guy who bought it drove up in his blue truck, and asked if it smelled... "Yeah." I said and he handed me $40 and left.

But I will have you know that the areas around the apartment where I dumped the cow head juice was the most thriving grass in the whole complex. Midland does not grow grass willingly- it is very dry and when it is watered, the water is a mix of toxins that do not give life to anything. 

Nick says that I should write to better homes and garden about my cow head juice knowledge and how to make your lawn greener and fuller- just soak a dead animal's head in water and pour that water everywhere!!!

So, we officially moved to Austin about 2 weeks ago and have been spending way too much money eating lots of delicious tacos and seeing the city. The apartment is pretty much together and decorated.

Everyone come visit!

Nick starts his first night shift tomorrow. Good luck dear!

The adventures of cow head.

I really need you guys to hear this terrifying story of one girl... and a cow's head.

About a month ago Nick and I were at the local farmer's market hunting around. We came across a little stand that sold grass fed and pasture raised beef. Great!- the hippie inside me thought. So we purchased a couple of steaks and some ground beef. Our bodies could tell the difference between corn and grass!

To the left of the stand these ranchers were also selling the recently deceased steak's head! A cow head! Not only that but a longhorn cow head! Great for hanging upside down in your living room!
So, the next week when Nick was out of town (don't get that, he said) I bought the biggest cow head they had, so what if it had a little bit of skin and hair left on it? Can you imagine the anti-Texas symbol it will create on our wall in the heart of Austin?!?!
I could imagine it then... but I'm not so sure now. This cow head has almost beaten me...

I read on some university's website that one needed to soak a skull in water and enzymes to rid the head of extra skin. So I did that. I got our trashcan and soaked the head in a trashcan full of water and dish detergent enzymes. So easy! Then after about 24 hours I took the head out of the trashcan... and almost puked about 6-7 times. I gagged and gagged and then gagged some more. It is one of the worst smells I have ever smelled. EVER. I couldn't really eat the rest of the day. My nose had been saturated in rotting cow head smell.
(Nick, can you help me? NO! you got yourself into this mess and you can get yourself out! FINE!!!)
BUT! Most of the extra skin did fall off! But also, a lot of the connective tissue still remained. His mouth is still there along with the ligaments that connect your skull to your eye muscles and forehead muscles. POOP!

Anyways I have decided to take the cow head to an actual taxidermist. There is one right down the road in the land of decorative heads all over things. People in Midland love hunting and then decorating their walls with it. And I guess I love dead things on the walls too.

But now are you thinking about the most disgusting part? Yes, the cow head water. Can't just put it down the sink. I could never use that sink again. I almost threw out our trashcan... Does it gross you out that I didn't? I washed it out thoroughly!

So, getting rid of the putrid water, teeming with dead bugs and skin. I waited until the dead of night and slowly, bucket full by bucket full, took it out of the apartment balcony and distributed it around the apartment complex in the grass.

I would fill the bucket almost halfway (that's all I can carry) then quietly dash to the grass and empty out the bucket, while breathing through my mouth and trying not to barf. Then I would dash back and refill the bucket. I was thinking to myself 'at least I haven't gotten any on me yet'... when of course I accidentally knocked it against the trashcan and in slow motion I saw the water in the bucket make a giant tidal wave and somehow gained enough momentum to splash me in the face.

I ran to the bathroom and turned the water on burning hot and scrubbed my face for ten minutes.
Oh god, I'm surprised I didn't lose my cookies right there. vomit.
Gross.
I'm gonna drink some wine now.

MEXICO!

I know you have been on the very edge of your seat thinking about when I will post about my glorious vacation.
The wait is over!
The picture above is actually the 2nd day, the first we arrived and I proceeded to fall asleep and nick got super wasted. Hahaha it was great!
We got pretty bad sunburns the 2nd day and now my hand and arm are peeling (Yes, just the right hand/arm) and I look a bit diseased.
I believe that is my only regret.

The beautiful beach and the matching sunglasses.

I would say we mostly did a ton of laying around and drinking. One day Dori's mom was trying to count how many drinks she had that day and it was 4! I tried to count and it was 8! Nick counted and I don't even think he remembers.

This is us at the welcome cocktails. We had so much fun being weird and getting to know the families of bride and groom.

The next day was the rehearsal dinner. It was very good and afterwards we went out dancing at the after hours club! It was still on the resort. It was a medium sized room with a bar and DJ. Nick and I, as usual, were going nuts out there and everyone was jealous. Well, no, but they loved the dancing. To some of Britton's friends I was that crazy dancing girl from then on.

Funny story: We had to wait 30 min for the rest of our snorkel group to arrive... and in that time I bundled myself in towels and fell asleep, Nick took the picture...

Also a funny story: We went out on a small boat to the reef to snorkel. Our first dive is over and we pop our heads out of the water to behold the restaurant burning to the ground!!!!! I was just sleeping there!
Yes, it burnt to the ground. We were supposed to have lunch there!!!
Our tour guides started celebrating being off from work for a while.

cute...

This is the day Nick and I traveled to Chichen Itza, a grand Mayan ruin. Here are two very authentic Mayans. We gave him a dollar and then he told us about some tree leaves we should try to smoke, make ya feel real good.

This is a sinkhole. I guess there are no rivers or lakes in the Yucatan area and this is how people get fresh water. Giant sinkholes 60 ft under the earth. Our tour guide was half Mayan and was telling us about the Mayan reservations they have. They are pretty much left alone, no government benefits, no birth certificates, no electricity or running water. They farm, hunt, gather and have lots of babies is what it sounded like. He also described his people very strangely, "we are short, with no necks, Long arms, big bellies and stubby legs" of course he was none of these... I don't know.
Anyways...  MORE MAYANS!!

The main temple of the priests. It somehow corresponds directly with the shadows of the summer and winter solstice... I'm not sure how. But the priests used these shadows as messages from the gods and controlled the people with their timely appearances.
The tour guide told us that when the sinkhole near this site was excavated, tons of dead bodies were found. Young girls between 15-17 with lots of gold jewelry on, sick and or deformed children, and random children they guess were orphans sent to the gods (because who could better care for orphans? No one!)
One lady asked 'why the hell would these people do that?', the tour guide explained that we all do stupid shit based on things we believe. With every religion outsiders probably say, "what the what??".

This is the ball court. I can't remember what the sport is called. It is supposed to sound like the ball bouncing, but all that comes to mind is bouncy bouncy or ping pong.
Anyways, I hope Nick does not score a goal or his reward will be sacrifice! NOOOOOO!!!

Bachelorette weekend, thoughts, and things

Such a fun weekend was had! I have told a few a you stories, so just listen again.

We drove to Ft. worth stockyards around 11am, I had worked that night and was living on about 2.5 hours of sleep. Gross. I fitfully dozed on the way.
We got there and immediately started gettin' did up. I believe I was the first one ready due to all the other girls having to tease their hair west Texas big (which I am getting better at). Though I did decide to don some fake eyelashes, they looked awesome... for a few hours.
We went to a restaurant called fish daddy? I cannot remember!!!!
Anyways, I had this delicious sauce on my fish that was pretty much butter and garlic. ( is there a drag queen joke somewhere in there? Girl I'm serving up butter garlic fish! Shnapper!) And I started to get to know the other ladies.
Dori's sister in Law to be- very west T name of Kenye Kay (pronounced kenny kay) Midland socialite, pharmaceutical rep - knew who Nick was based on the description "mohawk". Recently divorced, two kids, also recently lost a ton of weight and decided to treat herself to a lift and tuck- good for you!

Kenye Kay's friend Elizabeth- born and raised Midlander as well. Also recently divorced, one kid, lookin' for some hot cowby love. And boy did they want to give it to her. You should have seen this woman at the bar- good at the flirtin'. I had a few drinks bought for me only because she somehow had them bought for the whole group.

Lavonne- co-worker, quiet but not shy, religious but not down your throat, just a good girl. From a Wisconsin dairy farm, moved to Midland for an oil man's love.

Alyssa- Born and raised Odessa (Midland's BFF) co-worker as well, parents recently moved to Oklahoma City and so we had an instant bond, very classy and sweet. I would have liked to get her more drunk... maybe in MEXICO!!!

Me- Awesome.

Nicki- Dori's step sister, one kid, lives in ft. worth, still a pretty fun/ normal lady for having a child and wanting more. I admired her for that.

Dori- the kick ass bachelorette.

So after dinner we went to Pete's piano bar. It was the exact same Pete's that we went to for Meg's Bach. I was excited, and I also knew that I was probably the weirdest.

From the beginning Dori ordered a double vodka and I knew it was on!
I can't remember how many double vodkas we ended up ordering but it was many. I had only brought 200$ and I was going to try to make it last. I decided when I moved to Midland to try and reach a goal to save a certain amount of money... well I am well below my goal!
But when you're drunk it stops mattering. I kept buying drinks and giving those dang piano players money to put Dori on stage,  all the while yelling "it's in the budget!" when it clearly wasn't.
That time of the night rolls around when you stop giving a shit and you decide to start dancing on the people all around you, regardless of their wants. If my memory serves me correctly, I tried to get all weird on Alyssa, lavonne, and Kenye Kay. By that time the bachelorette was shwasted and we got weird together!

If ya didn't know Dori has a giant rock on her hand. It could probably tear a good chunk out of your face if she slapped you.
Kenye Kay tried on her ring and took a silly picture with the veil. Then I pretended like the ring was lost for a few seconds, then I tried it on and made the most hideous face I could conjure (knowing that Nick might weird out if he saw it, but if the face was hideous enough it would just be funny) and then everyone else went around the table making faces with the veil and ring.
Yesterday, I called my mom and she told me that my aunt thought I might actually be engaged because she saw that ugly ugly picture... hahaha freak.

Anyways, the veil I made kept falling out of Dori's hair and we were all having fun trying it on and being silly. Well, I had it on for a moment and Dori wanted to go dance near the stage (I think) and I went knowing that unless they were playing thriller we would probably be kicked off, and yes we were- immediately. We went back to our table and on the way a girl asked me who the real bachelorette was and the convo went like this:

"Oh, haha she is (pointing to Dori)."

"So, why are you wearing the veil? Are you really jealous?"

"Um, no. I made it and it just fell off her head."

"So, she hates the veil you made her?"

Oh my goodness bitch! Shut up! I gave a drunken laugh and just moved on. Some people can be so negative and hateful.

The rest of the night is a little blurry. Dancing.
Oh, and the eyelashes I mentioned before became crazy looking and I had to peel them off in the middle of the night. Goodness...

Night numba 2:

So I hung out in bed all day nursing a wee hangover before puttin' on my boots and doing night 2!
This is a fake bull that only starts vibrating mid picture. Hence my inappropriate face. I felt like I was getting it on with that girls back. Awkward.

From left to right.
Kenye Kay, Elizabeth, Dori (everyone notice the veil I made), Lavonne, Morgan, ME!, Alyssa, Rachel and Pheobe.

Someone not in our group told us that in order to dance with one of the bachelorette party one had to give Dori money. And so she earned 75$! And we all danced. like prostitutes.
It was mostly two steppin' couples so after a few hours we went to another bar down the way. It was country and rap! YEAH! Dori went wild and might have earned a spot in the OUPS with her dancing on strangers skills. She even humped a chair!
Needless to say my neck was sore from hair flinging and it was great! I don't think ive been that  sore since a good night at the drag show or opies!
I can't give you any details, because I don't remember very much besides arms flinging and veils flying.

Hope you enjoyed this extremely long post! Good for you if you read it all!
T

Moving...

Nick and I have been looking a lot into traveling overseas, but i seems pharmacists are not in as high demand as they once were.
From his research he would have to be an intern for a year before being able to be what he already is.

Sooooo now what?

We knew Midland was not going to be our final "settling down" area, but where will it be?

I think we were both hoping that more people would be settled by the time we were done with adventures and we would have more clarity on settling.

We have been considering these options:
PROS
Colorado- my parents, kirsten, skiing.
Austin- I have lots of friends there, my cousin (who is going to have another baby and I woudl like to know it) , awesome city.
Norman- we already have a house there, we already have friends, It would not be hard for me to get a job or Nick for that matter. Also, Nick's parents live in Edmond.
Where the heck is C going is another question. I want to live with her again or near her!
Portland? The dream of the 90s? Right L?
I bet there are more places we could go for just a little while and have a blast. About 2 years ago I thought it would be an adventure to work on Hawaii???? Maybe?
CONS (to me)
Colorado- Driving in snow, the cold.
Austin- The traffic and parking
Norman- Been there done that.
I'm not sure. Got to sort it all out in my head.
I would really like to be closer to family and friends.

...... How does one decide these things?

Rui Doso, NM

Pronounced Ria Dosa by everyone in Midland.
It was such a fun little ski vacation. Our cabin was very tiny, but perfect for a couple with very few personal boundaries. It had a nice little kitchen, a tiny living room that Nick could not stand up straight in, and a loft bed above the living room (you had to crawl to get in and out of bed- the ceiling was right there!)

We had fun skiing, although there was about 4-5 runs that were open and our difficulty level. Most of the mountain was closed. It was also extremely icy, so I learned how to ski on ice! Not easy.

I think one of my fav stories is about a dog.
The cabins owned several dogs that would wander around and one Nick nicknamed biscuit. She would wander by our cabin and drop a pine cone at our feet and expect us to throw it constantly. She became such good friends with us by the 2nd day that she came in our cabin and hung out for a while. Nick gave her some peanut butter.

One night we went to an "irish pub" and ate fish and chips and drank Smithwicks and we missed Ireland.

This weekend I head to Ft. Worth for Dori's bachelorette party!

All adventurous women do...

So, once again it was abnormal and I am disappointed.
I have felt really healthy, no signs of illness these past six months. I bet working night shift does not help...

Anyways, what do y'all do to keep your immune system running? Massage? Vitamins? Juicing? Low stress?Regular orgasms? :)

I eat pretty healthy and currently doing insanity at least 3-4 times a week. The last two weeks Dori and I have been kicking ass with 6 times in a row!!

T